Monday, June 10, 2013

I Refuse to Engage in Battle Today

Or...."Seriously J? How many times do I have to ask to you to stop playing around and get your shoes on????"

Every morning is a battle between J's ADHD and what needs to be accomplished in the morning. I don't give him his Vyvanse until about 7:30 so from the time he wakes up until when we get into the car to go to school, we are engaged in an epic battle of mythical proportions.

Sometimes, I can manage to get him in the car without a tantrum, screaming, crying, yelling, disrespect, and losing my temper. Other times....well, let's just say I wouldn't be surprised if some concerned citizen walking their dog past my house at 7:40 would be concerned enough to have CPS check up on us. And to be honest, if I heard what was going on inside my house, I would be too.

See, J can yell with the best of them. I swear that kid has an amplifier in his vocal chords. When he is fighting me or does not feel like doing what I ask him to do, he yells. Sometimes at me, sometimes about me, sometimes neither. But he yells and screams like he is being severely punished. What do I do? I very quietly and quickly put him in his room and close (or slam!) the door to get him into a safe, secure environment. But J is also very concerned about losing his privileges and this leads to screaming, demanding questions about whether or not he lost his dessert or play time in the afternoon and evening. This also leads to crying and throwing things, which of course leads to more lost privileges. It is a never ending cycle and one that frankly, I am sick and tired of doing with him.

Last week, I came up with a plan that I hope will work. I bought J a water gun, something he has been wanting for about 2 years. I put it up above the refrigerator and then created a behavior template with two spots, one for the morning and one for the afternoon and evening. He loves baseball and understands the three strike and you are out concept so I included that too. Basically, he has three chances in the morning before he has to write an "X" in that box. If he is able to get in the car without that third strike, when he gets home, he can put a star sticker in that box. Same goes for the evening. He has three chances before he has to write an "X" in the evening box. If he has more stars than X's by the end of the week, he has earned his super soaker water gun.

I hate to be a bribing Mom, but honestly, I couldn't fight him any longer. If something is going to help, I am going to try it. He needs a visual reminder that he is doing well or not but he also needs to be able to feel successful. I hope this will work!! If it doesn't --- well, let's not go there yet, I don't have a Plan B right now!
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