The Top 3 Reasons I Want to Run and Hide During the First Two Weeks of School

#1- My anxiety riddled son has a VERY hard time adjusting to a new routine. For him, routine is everything and since he can't tell time very well, he depends on what he is expecting to happen next based on a tight routine. So when we change from camp to school, it trips him out and creates a much more difficult environment to keep him calm. The first two weeks of school are the worst. Really...if I could fly to an alternate universe and come back after the storm is over, I would.

#2- When he gets set off, it sets me off too and I have to struggle harder than usual to keep myself in a calm, understanding place where I can guide him but still be compassionate and accepting of his quirks that seem to blossom into gigantic issues overnight.

#3- Why in the every loving hell is it so so so HOT the first two weeks of school. Today is the hottest day of the ENTIRE year and living in a 1921 bungalow without insulation or central AC during a 100+ degree heat wave makes me want to stab the first person who touches me and slimes against me with a sharpened spork.

I'm the surly teenager....

I Refuse to Engage in Battle Today

Or...."Seriously J? How many times do I have to ask to you to stop playing around and get your shoes on????"

Every morning is a battle between J's ADHD and what needs to be accomplished in the morning. I don't give him his Vyvanse until about 7:30 so from the time he wakes up until when we get into the car to go to school, we are engaged in an epic battle of mythical proportions.

Sometimes, I can manage to get him in the car without a tantrum, screaming, crying, yelling, disrespect, and losing my temper. Other times....well, let's just say I wouldn't be surprised if some concerned citizen walking their dog past my house at 7:40 would be concerned enough to have CPS check up on us. And to be honest, if I heard what was going on inside my house, I would be too.

See, J can yell with the best of them. I swear that kid has an amplifier in his vocal chords. When he is fighting me or does not feel like doing what I ask him to do, he yells. Sometimes at me, sometimes about me, sometimes neither. But he yells and screams like he is being severely punished. What do I do? I very quietly and quickly put him in his room and close (or slam!) the door to get him into a safe, secure environment. But J is also very concerned about losing his privileges and this leads to screaming, demanding questions about whether or not he lost his dessert or play time in the afternoon and evening. This also leads to crying and throwing things, which of course leads to more lost privileges. It is a never ending cycle and one that frankly, I am sick and tired of doing with him.

Last week, I came up with a plan that I hope will work. I bought J a water gun, something he has been wanting for about 2 years. I put it up above the refrigerator and then created a behavior template with two spots, one for the morning and one for the afternoon and evening. He loves baseball and understands the three strike and you are out concept so I included that too. Basically, he has three chances in the morning before he has to write an "X" in that box. If he is able to get in the car without that third strike, when he gets home, he can put a star sticker in that box. Same goes for the evening. He has three chances before he has to write an "X" in the evening box. If he has more stars than X's by the end of the week, he has earned his super soaker water gun.

I hate to be a bribing Mom, but honestly, I couldn't fight him any longer. If something is going to help, I am going to try it. He needs a visual reminder that he is doing well or not but he also needs to be able to feel successful. I hope this will work!! If it doesn't --- well, let's not go there yet, I don't have a Plan B right now!

The Fun of Getting Out of the House aka I'm a Mom to a kid with ADHD

Getting out of the house with a 7 year old little boy when the meds haven't kicked in is like trying to herd a bunch of cats that are fleeing in mulitple directions. It just doesn't work too well. Although I give J his meds at 7:00, they usually don't kick in until 50 minutes later. By that time, I am already at work, preparing my lessons. I don't get to experience the benefit of a calm moment like his teachers do. A typical morning goes like this:

Me: J- look at me, look at my face, pay attention.

(J looking anywhere but my face, bouncing on one foot, trying to grab a hook off the counter)

Me: Look at me, I need to tell you something. Please go into your bedroom and take off your night-night clothes.

J: *singing in a very loud voice* OK!! I WILL DO THIS NOW!!!

I turn back to get his lunch prepared- this usually takes about 5 minutes. I observed that during these 5 minutes, he has run around the dining room table 6x, picked L up and made her cry, thrown a pile of freshly washed laundry on the ground, turned the water on in the bathroom and left it on, and screamed at the top of his lungs three times. What hasn't he done? Taken off his clothes.

Me: J- please stop what you are doing and get dressed.

J: I WILL. I MEAN I AM. I hate you. I like Daddy more than you.

Me: I know, you tell me all the time you hate me. I get it. Go get dressed. If you keep this up, I will be late to work and you will be at school, still in your pajamas and without shoes or socks.

J: *screaming and crying now* I am getting dressed. I am. Don't take me to school. I guess I am going to loose TV FOREVER. You hate me.

Me: Whatever J. I don't hate you. I love you but I don't love the way you are acting. If you can't pull yourself together, I will put you in your room for a break and I will get ready without helping you.

J: *picks himself off the floor, crosses his arms in front of him and stomps to his room, slamming the door in the process, shaking the house and making L cry.*

Whew!! That was intense. Except that in another 5 minutes, I go in there and he not only hasn't gotten dressed, but he has created a tower of terror out of his plastic toy bins. I have 5 minutes before I have to leave. There are no other choices for me at this point in time.

Me: *raised voice, a little panicked* Get dressed now, I will call your father and let him know how difficult you are making this. I need to leave in 5 minutes. You will be coming with me, dressed or not.

J: *screaming, crying, throwing objects at me* NO MOMMY NO NO NO NO NO Don't call Daddy. Don't call Daddy. Please!! I am getting dressed. I promise. I really promise this time. Don't leave without me.

Me: *closes his door* Fine J, I won't leave without out providing that you are ready NOW.

Then I usually hear a huge bang on the door where he has thrown his shoes at the door. At this point, I can ignore him and get everything in the car, ready to go when he gets his clothes on. Sometimes I get his socks and shoes and put them in the car so he can put them on on the way to school, other times, he will do that before we leave. There are occasions where he gets ready easily and quickly and then has some time to grab his scooter, run outside and blow off some early morning energy, but those are few and far between.

By the time I get to work, I am exhausted and then have to set up and prepare myself to deal with high school students, all of whom have some type of ADD or ADHD, need specialized attention and require a stratified curriculum. More on that later.